The best way to start a new blog? Who knows (I’m new at this), but why not explain the quote behind the blog. I’m not leaving much to the imagination I guess, but I think it is a quote we should all live by. I’ve spent a lot of time recently looking back at the past, as I guess most people do. Who I used to be, who I used to love, and what used to make me happy. I think that when things are hard, we tend to look back on the past as a comfort. We remember it in a positive light. We think back on our smiles, our laughter and our joys. Why? Because we made it through those times, we made it passed the rough patches so now we can truly appreciate what we had then. The problem is when we are always looking back we miss our chance to appreciate the now. Or even better, what we can do with the now.
2013 is not just the new year but it’s the year everything is different for me. I have decided to change my entire direction on life. I have always been on one dedicated track, always aiming for one prestigious title. In the last few years, I’ve realized that track was not the one I was meant for. I’ve gone from thinking I knew exactly what I wanted to being completely lost. I’ve spent a lot of the last few years looking back (to my history, see where my love of the quote comes in?) at the person I was in my youth; a happy and smart person with a promising future. There was a time where I thought I lost that part of myself. Why? Because things were hard and I built a mental block to avoid it.
At the very beginning of this year, I decided to take a break, in order to figure out what it is that I really want. This is my year to find a passion. For the first time in my life, I am looking at all available options. It has not been an easy decision. I was afraid and embarrassed. Not for myself, but for what others might think of me. Isn’t it funny, we are always afraid of what others will think of us. Sometimes, we miss what is right for us in order to do what we think others believe we should be doing. A good friend reminded me that this is my last time to be selfish before I have responsibilities to others. This helped me realize it was time to what I believed was right for me. This is not to say that anyone gave me a reason to be embarrassed. In fact, everyone I have spoken to about my decision has been nothing but supportive. And as it turns out, I am far from alone in this choice. This may just be the cool thing to do, take some time, be young, and figure out who you are. Hopefully it will end up as the best decision I have ever made and will in turn reward me with a long, happy life… which is what I am ultimately searching for.
So here’s my view on the year: You know how elevators never have a button for the 13th floor. It is because it is unlucky, I suppose. But if you mix that fact with Taylor Swift’s belief that the number 13 is lucky, you get my view on 2013. I’ve decided that this year is my year that essentially doesn’t count. It is there, but if I wish I can pretend it doesn’t (just like elevators pretend there is no 13th floor). I can do all I’ve wanted to do (to some extent, I am still a twenty-something with student loans to pay), and have the courage to explore all that I want to explore. Essentially, this is the year I start to live my imagination, in order to see where my true happiness lies. And if you stick with me, I’m sure there will be some laughs, adventures and memories, not to live by but to look back on and smile.